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Friday, December 05, 2008

Are You in the Doghouse?

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Well, are you?  Lately, there has been a surge of internet advertising that involves short movie clips, and this one has got to be the best one I've seen yet for the holiday season.  I also want my Big Bear to avoid being thrown in the doghouse as he has a number of times.  Oh, this is going to be fun telling you these stories. 

On our first Christmas together, he bought me a beautiful ski coat and outfit.  It was very nice.  Except that I don't ski.  I think he was hoping, though, because he likes to ski.

One Christmas, about 7 years ago, he bought me some golf clubs and I didn't even see them sitting next to the tree.  They were from Santa.  My Santa.  That big Jolly Fella I am married to.  Kiss. Kiss.

Another Christmas he bought me a tool set - a pink one at that.  Not.  Doghouse.

Another Christmas he bought me a dress that looked like I should enlist in the Navy.  Not. - Doghouse.

And another Christmas, about 5 years ago, he bought me a handmade chess set, some cds that I wanted, a movie or two, and then while going through my stocking, at the bottom I found a little box.  He had bought me some beautiful diamond earrings.  Kiss. Kiss.

Now here is the kicker to the story above - about the earrings.  You see, his parents were living with us at the time, and so was my mother.  There were 8 of us living in a 4-bedroom house.  It was crowded and stressful.  I had a really small laundry room and a normal sized washer and dryer - not the extra-heavy duty kind.  I was never able to keep up with all the laundry for my family of eight.  So, although the earrings were really nice - and expensive I might add - they weren't very practical.  What I really needed, and wanted, was a new extra-large capacity front loading washer and dryer.  And together, they cost about the same as that pretty set of earrings that I might wear once a year since I am such a homebody and rarely ever go anywhere anyway. 

Well, just after Christmas, Bob and I returned the earrings and he bought me the washer and dryer that I wanted.  I was thrilled.  And to this day they run every day - about 2-5 loads a day.  That was the best Christmas yet. 

The worst Christmas, would you believe, was right after Matthew was born.  He was born on December 18th, 1996, and I was having a tough time recovering.  A few days after he was born, I was in the hospital on the verge of a heart attack after a thyroid storm.  That was my body's way of telling me it had blown a gasket and that I shouldn't be having anymore babies.  You got that right!  Especially now that I had my precious boy.  Well, I am usually the one to plan Christmas for everyone.  All Big Bear has to do is buy a gift for me and then I plan everything else - from Santa to family gifts to the stocking stuffers.  On the Christmas following Matthew's birth, though, I handed it all over to my Big Bear.  The kids had a great Christmas - that included Kathleen, Kimberly, Sarah, and our new baby boy, Matthew.  You know what I got for Christmas?  Nothing.  Absolutely, positively nothing.  There wasn't one gift under the tree and my stocking was empty.  That was the worst Christmas ever for me and believe me - Bob was in the doghouse.  I took Matthew and went to our room crying.  I know, I was acting like a spoiled brat, but hey!  I would have settled for anything that showed he was thinking of me.  I'm easy to please.

Well, he apologized profusely.  Feeling worse than I did.  I forgave him and told him he had better never forget about me ever again.  What made it worse was the hormonal hell I was going through too, trying to recover from having just given birth.  All I can say is that the one thing any man can do to royally upset your wife is to forget her entirely.  That's even worse than giving her a vacuum cleaner. 

This year, though, with Bob being out of work, we are having to watch our dollars.  We've got to be able to pay the mortgage and the utility bills, and still, hopefully, have some left over for the children for Christmas.  Also, Matthew and Glen both have December birthdays, making this month an especially busy and expensive one. 

Nevertheless, for those of you out there who still have your jobs and can afford a nice Christmas for your loved one, here is a video that is sure to make you think twice before you go out and buy your wife a vacuum cleaner, or tell your girlfriend that her mother looks hot in a bathing suit...

 


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